The last two weeks we have explored the tendency that men have to be like Zorro; rugged individualists and masters of our fate. Last week we saw that because we are created in the image and likeness of God, we too exist in community and friendship. Today we explore the first of the two foundational principles that undergird healthy friendships.
The mirror is one of the most important items that a person can own. It is the mirror which shows us what we look like. There is no fooling a mirror because it only reflects what it sees. We may not like what we see but the mirror has done its job of helping us to be self-aware. In a friendship, self-awareness is a foundation principle of a healthy friendship. However we have traded in self-awareness for self-absorption.
Jesus points this out in the Sermon on the Mount.
“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. Matthew 7:1-5 (NIV)
Jesus shares something fundamental for friendships, we all have issues. While that fact may not be earth shattering, sometimes our recognition of our issues is something different. This is what Jesus is focusing on in this passage. We are so quick to point out the issues that our friends and others have in their lives we forget that while we may have different issues, we still have issues. Issues which may affect our friendships.
To have healthy friendships with other men, we need to be self-aware. We need to know where our weaknesses, quirks and issues lie. We need to take a close look at ourselves in the mirror because while we may see lettuce stuck in our friend’s teeth, I may not see the snot hanging out of my nose.